S2 E6: Miranda Lee on Self Compassion in Gentle Movement

Stacy Griffin: Welcome back to Autoimmune Adventures. Today we're exploring the fourth element of our Big Six, Gentle Movement. We're thrilled to welcome our guest, Miranda Lee, a mindset coach and a yoga teacher who specializes in working with people recovering from cancer, living with chronic pain and navigating autoimmune conditions.

Stacy Griffin: And before you say, "Yoga, really? I am tapping out of this episode." We understand that there are many of you out there who can't do yoga due to hypermobility and other issues that you may have, but we would urge you to stay with us. Because Miranda specializes in all kinds of gentle movement, and not that, just that, but adaptive yoga as well. So, you might not think you could do it, but maybe you could - with the right person helping you. So, Miranda, thank you so much for being here with us today. We're thrilled to see you. I'm so glad to be here. I'm happy that you're here. So as we start, you, you have told me that you've worked with a lot of people facing chronic illness and pain.

What's one of the most important mindset shifts that you think people need to make when it comes to their relationship with exercise?

Miranda Lee: Self-compassion is really important. It's, uh, I always think all roads lead to self-compassion in my classes. I try and create a compassionate space. And by self-compassion, what do I mean? I mean recognizing where we are at, that's mindfulness, looking at the reality of the situation we're in right now, um, whatever that is. With kindness and understanding that we're not alone. So, that idea of common humanity. And I think if we have that mindset, that's really where we can grow from. Yeah.

Becky Miller: Thanks, that's lovely. And I think kind of along with compassion, it probably goes along with my question, but I think a lot of times those of us with chronic illness, we have this need to feel like we need to keep up. With what we did before we were diagnosed, um, why do you think people living with autoimmune disease often struggle or other chronic illnesses struggle with guilt or fear around movement?

Miranda Lee: For good reason, right? You know, um, I think, uh, there's been a lot of change, right? From what could, what, what you could do maybe prior to illness and what you can do now. And I think, uh, That's really where the compassion comes in, um, and the understanding and acceptance of that situation, which is not easy at all, which is where the common humanity, the understanding that we're in this together, you're not alone, is really important, which is why I really like to teach in groups of other people who are going through similar or adjacent, you know, situations with their health.

Um, and a lot of non-judgment, you know, as soon as we start to feel guilty or judging of ourselves for not being able to do what we used to be able to do, it kind of makes us feel stuck, right?

Miranda Lee: But if we can come to some understanding of acceptance, okay, well, here I am. And what can I do? And what can I go forward with? That's really where this wonderful growth and transformation can happen. But that needs a lot of compassion. And you need to be in the right environment for that as well. You need that support for that, yeah.

Alysia Thomas: That's so true. I love how you talk about that we're in it together and, and support and community and doing this in a group, because that's really what we're trying to build with this podcast is a little bit of a support group slash community, um, to let people know they're not alone.

Alysia Thomas: So you talk a lot about gentle movement in your work and that we use that exact same term in our podcast. Um, how would you define that for someone who is dealing with chronic fatigue or flare ups?

Miranda Lee: Um, Well, I think it's not necessarily how I define it. It's how someone who's I'm working with defines it because everyone's individual, right? Um, someone's chronic fatigue or flare -ups is different from someone else's, right? And we can all do the same thing. slightly different things. So when I teach, um, my, my students, it's about offering up a variety of different options. And I always say at the beginning of class, "This is a class of kindness. This is a class of you being kind to yourself. And what does that mean for you today?"

Right? Sometimes kindness is actually pushing yourself. Sometimes kindness is taking a rest, and not pushing yourself. And part of my class is for people to start to understand that. What is your edge? Where should you stop? Or where should you push yourself? So it's, yeah.

Alysia Thomas: Well, can you, can you go a little bit more into that? Because that's a personal problem I think I and a lot of other people struggle with is how do I push myself to improve and to do better physically at the Gentle Movement while not overdoing it? Do you have any tips?

Because for newly diagnosed people and sometimes people that have been doing it forever, we're not very good at listening to our bodies. So what are the like, if you could just touch on that a little bit, like, what, what are the things that we would look for to know when we should push forward or when we should slow down?

Miranda Lee: Yeah, that's a really good question. And I think you actually just answered it yourself. It's a journey of listening to your body because, uh, you know, when we're sick, we don't necessarily want to listen to our body, right. It's not necessarily a safe place to be, but when we stop moving it. And being really intentional about how we're moving it, we start to feel it's okay to be in our body and we start to listen.

So, I mean, sometimes it's best just to demonstrate what I mean. Would you, would you be willing to do a very gentle movement practice?

Alysia Thomas: Sure. Absolutely.

Miranda Lee: Okay, so I'm going to invite you to get comfortable in your seat. Okay, and I'm going to invite you to, if you can, get your feet on the ground. Okay, and I just going to invite you to press into your feet on the ground.

Can you see if you can feel your big toe on the ground? Can you feel your little toe on the ground? Can you feel the corners of your feet and the heel on the ground? So now really press into your feet, the toes, the sides of the feet and the heel. When you do that, can you start to feel Can you start to feel some movement or connection in your legs?

Yes. Can you start to maybe feel that connection in your sit bones? Can you start to feel it a little bit maybe in your stomach, your abdominal muscles? Okay. That's a gentle movement practice. You're actually strengthening your legs and your abdominal muscles with that. Okay. Now, when we're, when we're first out of a treatment program, That might be enough, right?

That might be where you are at, but you're doing a movement practice and you're strengthening muscles and your core muscles with that. Now, of course, we can move that on, right? We can start lifting up our feet. We can start to engage those core muscles a little bit more. We can start doing more, but that's enough to start.

That's the start of the journey forward. And that's also you getting to know your body. You're getting to know from that place Of safety, stability, you're in your seat. Oh, this feels okay to me. I can do this. Okay, and so maybe when you come back to class next time, you might want to be doing a bit more.

But when we dive in to like, you know, a gym class, we're going to feel like overwhelmed, okay? And it's going to be probably too much, right? For us, right then. Not to say that in the future it won't be, but we have to build it up slowly over time, and we have to build it up with getting to know our bodies, like um, the body that we have right now. Accepting it as it is with self -compassion, love.

That this is why it's a mind-body treatment. Everything I do is mind body, and of course, as we start to build up confidence in our body, so, we build up that sense of compassion and acceptance in our mind.

It's yoga - it's like, it's a gym class, but the ancient, like, philosophy of yoga is - yoga actually means, "yoke." It means breath and movement together.

You can do, like this is a, yoga. Like, if you breathe in with me and just raise your arms up. Breathing in, breathing out. You can't see me, I'm sorry. I'm just raising, I've got my arms out to the side. Breathing in, lifting the arms. Breathing out, just letting them fall down. Breathing in and breathing out. If you're moving your arms in the time to your breath, that's yoga.

It doesn't need to be more than that, but it can be, right? It's just getting the start of, um, of moving your body and being intentional and getting to know your body as it is right now.

Stacy Griffin: Yeah, I was going to ask about discomfort, but I think you've pretty much covered. What we need to be doing, which is just being tuned into our body, paying attention to what it's telling us, not ignoring those signals.

And I think that with chronic illness. We struggle to do that sometimes to just pay attention. So what you're doing is so important because it's about learning to hear what your body is telling you. Um, so how do we draw that line? Do we just pay attention, really close attention? Maybe this is more about mindfulness than It is about discomfort, because if we are mindful, then we're not going to cross the line.

Do you think that is a good approximation of, of what you're trying to tell us here?

Miranda Lee: Yes, and when we, when we keep breathing, so there's a couple of things to say to that, when we keep breathing, When our breath, when we're not holding our breath or getting out of breath, when we're able to still keep breathing, oxygen is still flowing into the body and we're much less likely to injure ourselves.

So, that's the first thing. We move at the pace of our breath and we start to notice it when it's getting rugged and you know, we slow down. And the second thing is, as you get to know your body in this kind of gentle way, you start to understand sensation as different from pain.

Now, sensation is different for everybody, right? So, we can move with sensation. We can come to an understanding of what sensation is. Sometimes, you know, we just want to go to the beginning of the sensation. This is when getting to know yourself is really important. And sometimes when we're more experienced of understanding sensation, We can move further into sensation and then move back. As soon as we hit pain, no go. We stop.

So it's a beginning to understand what's the difference between sensation and what's the difference between pain. Yeah.

Alysia Thomas: And that is not always easy to do. So I love that you're teaching it because for those of us that live in chronic pain. That line between sensation and pain is crossed so often throughout the course of our day that sometimes like you do have to be super mindful, you do have to be very much in tune with what you are feeling in that moment because it doesn't take much to cross from sensation to pain.

I love that you explained that so beautifully. That was that was super helpful for me.

Becky Miller: Agreed. And I think one of the other problems, I think it's a problem we honestly have as a society, not just, I think it's especially hard for people that suffer from chronic illness, but I think it's a societal thing in general.

This idea, you know, everybody quotes it all the time, "no pain, no gain." Um, yeah, how do you help your clients shift away from that mindset? I'm guessing it's more of the mindfulness like we were talking about, but I'm guessing there's a lot of people that kind of come in because that does seem like so ingrained in our society.

There's probably a lot of people that come in with that mindset of no pain, no gain.

Miranda Lee: That's why I always start with self -compassion. And that's why every single class you'll take with me, I say, this is the class of kindness. Because no pain, no gain is, it's not kind, right? It's just not a kind statement, um, especially if you've got health, you know, issues, but even if you don't, it's not helpful.

Like, it really isn't. Um, And the more I learn about the body and anatomy and understanding about just like physically how we work. I'm teaching, like I could be teaching someone who's an athlete the same methods. We teach athletes self -compassion as well for the same reason. They, they push themselves and injure themselves.

They also need to understand where sensation is and where pain is. It's not like it's different. It's just that people are starting at different parts of that journey, right? So, um, You know, there's this idea that we have to be kind of, uh, cruel to ourselves or judgmental to ourselves to, to, to be productive, it's actually, all the research shows it's totally wrong. Like, when I talk about self -compassion, it's evidence -based. Like, if you want to be, and I'm not talking about short -term gain, I'm talking about long -term. If you want to have a long athletic career, or you want to have a long, you know, recovery, Being kind to yourself is the way to do it, you know.

If you think about a kid, like in school, being taught to read, and one teacher is saying to that kid, "You need to just read, read, read, get on, don't ever stop reading until you improve." Or you say to another kid in the school, "Sweetheart, I can see that you're struggling here. Let me sit down and support you. We'll go slow. But we'll keep going."

So I think that's just, it's a different analogy, but I think you can see which, which kid is going to actually enjoy reading, which kid is going to like have a long love of books their whole life, and which kid is going to be like, Oh my gosh, this is awful, but I have to do it, you know.

Alysia Thomas: I think that's a super great example. I think that's a great analogy. Um, so on on those tough days when somebody feels like they can't do much, what kind of movement do you suggest? Do you have like a maybe an example of a routine, chair yoga or some kind of stretching, something that could be, um, a gentle starting place if you're in a flare or if you're feeling miserable that day?

Miranda Lee: Yes, absolutely. Now, it really depends on, you know, your mobility where your pain is in your body. So it's going to again, it's going to be very individual. But starting the day with some very gentle movement can be really helpful. So as you get out of bed, or even before you've got out of bed.

Moving your body in a way. You can see I start this way. This starts, just wake up the body, bringing blood flow into the areas, both the areas that have some pain and sensation, no pain, sensation, some parts of the body that have sensation, and don't, and bringing your mind again to the places that feel good.

Right? Now, when we have, you know, chronic pain, there might not, it might feel like, oh, there's nowhere that feels good. But what about your toes, you know? What about your forehead or your eyes? You know, start there and then just work through the body, waking it up. So if it's your toes that feel okay, just start to wiggle your toes.

Then perhaps just doing that exercise we just did as you're getting out of bed, feet on the ground, and then just starting to wake up the legs, waking up the hip bones, you know, maybe then, oh, I can do a little bit of swaying in the arms. Oh, my fingers feel okay today. You know, this is the kind of thing.

And again, it's, it's individual. So it's not like one and done. Um, you know, I like to do a big stretch like that, but that's because my mobility in my arms, you know, it feels good. Maybe that doesn't feel good for you, but that's the kind of thing that feels good for me.

Alysia Thomas: Do you find that, um, do you, I guess, do you believe that in, especially at the beginning of the day - um, but do you believe that making well, let me figure out how to phrase this, because I want to say "making yourself move"... inviting yourself to compassionately and gently move your body, even if there's some discomfort. Not pain, but some discomfort, that can I mean it - for me with fibromyalgia, if I do that in the morning, I have less pain throughout the day, right?

Like I, if I get up and I do that, what you're suggesting, and sometimes I do and sometimes I pop out of bed and try and just get going. But when I slow down, I feel my body. I wake my body up some gentle stretching. That goes a long way for making me feel better throughout the day. And it wasn't a hard workout. It was, you know, I wasn't doing... Something crazy. Um, but I was waking my body up and getting it just those gentle movements and it every time I do it, I notice I feel better throughout the day. So, not necessarily pain, but effort, borderline discomfort maybe, can have good payoffs for like pain relief. I feel like.

Miranda Lee: Yes, absolutely. I mean, all the research shows that. Movement is a real, I mean, that's why we're here, right, talking about movement. Movement is really important for our body's health. Um, and it doesn't need to be, you know, a lot of movement, but it just needs to be movement. Um, so it's, I also, you know, I love what you said about the reframe, you know.

Because as soon as our bodies, as soon as we say to ourselves, Oh, I have to do this, you're never gonna, you'll do it once, but it won't be consistent. And consistency is the really important part of it. So as soon as you can bring a mindset of compassion, or I want to do this, this is a kind thing for me to do, because this will help me for the rest of the day, that's, that's the magic.

That's like, Oh, it's like, um, you know, in, in traditional yoga practice, they say, "It doesn't really matter. You just have to unroll your mat." That's enough. You don't have to do anything else. Just unroll your mat. But once you've unrolled your mat, maybe then you want to stand on your mat.

Maybe then it's a little stretch, you know? So the other thing is like, Oh, I mean, the, you know, you don't even have to have a mat. Maybe it's as simple as, "Oh, today I'm going to get out of my bed. Maybe I'm just going to wiggle my toes. Oh, that feels okay. Now I'll just press my feet into the ground," like we did.

"That feels okay, too. Maybe now I'm going to do some swaying, moving," you know? And that's how it becomes a habit, how it becomes something that you look forward to doing, rather than this chore that you have to do. And that's how you get it to be consistent in your life, and that's when the magic happens.

Becky Miller: I was gonna say, I love the way that you're framing this because I feel like for me personally, and I think it's true of a lot of other people. One of the biggest problems with any kind of exercise, gentle or otherwise, is this idea of making it sustainable. And I think sometimes when we do have the chronic pain, um, it's very easy to write it off because, again, sometimes I think we get in our minds this idea that we have to do this big workout.

And I think sometimes when we do have the chronic pain, um, it's very easy to write it off because, again, sometimes I think we get in our minds this idea that we have to do this big workout. To really be exercising and to, to frame it around this way. And like you said, being kind to yourself and, and recognizing that it's going to be different every day when you have chronic pain.

Um, that, uh, you know, I think that's a great. A great way to make it sustainable.

Stacy Griffin: So, Miranda, you mentioned that, um, movement can really improve your emotional well -being. Can you share for a moment when you maybe give us an example of a breakthrough that someone had when their mindset kind of changed on general movement and they realized what a beautiful thing it could be?

Miranda Lee: Yes, I mean, this happens a lot in, I'm thinking about my, some of my students, um, you know, people, people have been through a lot when they come to my class, oftentimes, you know, they've been prodded, they've been poked, they've been, you know, had a lot of difficult things um and it's been very scary right and then the you know discharge for exercise and they're like, "Oh, I have to, I have to do this now," you know attitude oftentimes they come to my class and I know that right I'm there and I well you know and I'm just thinking of one of my favorite students and she um, I'll be very careful not to say her name in case she watches this, but she came into the class and I could just see her, she's like, "Oh, now this."

You know, because I teach in a hospital setting, so it brings... brings, you know, you're in the same place as you were for your treatment, right? And, um, although we're in a, you know, tucked away in a little special, beautiful space, but, um, yeah, if anyone's listening to this, the Graf Center in Englewood Hospital is where I teach and it's a really wonderful place.

So, um, and, you know, she, she sat in the chair and, you know, she, she had a lot of physical. conditions, and she probably had a lot of the questions that you were just asking me going through her mind about, you know, could she do any of this? Everything hurt. She had, you know, and and we started and it took a few classes she she kept on coming back which I would say, um, you know the first class everything is new so you know you have to give it a couple of classes to, you know, get, get into the groove of what, what's happening and what you've been asked to do.

So she did, and I just remember one day, I'm talking about self -compassion. She was just like, she's not on this again. But it actually cemented that class. She was like, oh, now I get it. And, um, and now, I mean, honestly, I'd say she is completely transformed. We've been working together almost a year and a half, and she comes in full of light smiles. She's looking forward to, um, the class. I mean, we joke around a lot, and she's always talking about self compassion. And just to give you a little insight, she said, she said to me the other day, um, it was, it was winter and it was still icy.

She came and she said, "Miranda, I have to tell you, I would have just slipped and fallen on some ice, black ice that was just by my car, but I didn't, because I remembered all the balance we've been doing, and I know that my body's strong enough. And I didn't fall and I have," and she said, "I have to thank you for that. I know."

So I was really touched because yeah, that's the I mean, that's the difference, right? So, you know, I'm not expecting her to be a, you know, elite athlete, but I, I'm saving her from falling on ice. "You know, that's what gentle movement does. It helps to keep you healthy in your day -to -day life. Yeah, which is really what it's about, you know.

Becky Miller: Yeah, um, on other side of things, I guess, when you have autoimmune conditions, well, and even as a cancer survivor, when you've been going through cancer treatments, this is also true. It comes with mental fog as well as the low energy. So, um, And have you seen experiences on how gentle movement can help combat some of maybe even the brain fog with that perspective?

Miranda Lee: Yeah, I'm thinking about a student I had, um, she had, um, an autoimmune disease that was, um, bringing in a lot of mental fog and she was concerned that it was actually, and she was being tested for by her doctors. She was concerned it was dementia. And so she had a lot of uncertainty. Her short -term memory was, was really, um, um, you know, really difficult for her. So, you know, we worked on, like, feeling safe in the body, because I think for her, And I'm not going to speak for anyone else, but I suspect it's similar, um, with, for other people with, with mental fog...

We worked on helping her feel safe in her body, so that, um, when that sort of uncertainty of she couldn't remember the directions to get somewhere, or she couldn't remember, What someone had just said to her that she could stabilize herself in her body, rather than getting into an anxious spiral. Because actually the anxious spiral was, was more of an issue than actually just not remembering in that moment.

So the way I worked with her, and again everyone is different, just... Again, just feet on the ground. Are your feet okay? Where are you? You're okay. Those kind of, like, mantras. So that's more like the meditative tools that I teach, rather than necessarily the gentle movement, but certainly the ability to feel safe and secure in her body was really important for that.

Does that answer your question?

Becky Miller: Absolutely.

Alysia Thomas: I, I think that what you're teaching in that is, is so incredibly valuable because, uh, when you are going through. When you are, you know, just getting used to having this, all these different things happening in your body, um, or you're processing the, I mean, I hate to use the word "trauma," but you're processing the trauma of what's happened to your body.

Um, it is really difficult to rebuild that compassion. I mean, I know for myself, I had a lot of years of kind of self -hatred for my body, because it was betraying me, you know, so I love that you are teaching this compassion. Like, what are some what are some ways that we can build that within ourselves?

I think that is...it's so beautiful that you're doing that because we don't, I don't think that's something we teach ourselves in our society, self -compassion.

Miranda Lee: A hundred percent. And that's why I teach it because, and I agree with you actually, I don't think you, I think it is trauma. And I don't think it's just to the body. I think it's also to the mind. Trauma is mind-body.

So I, oftentimes when people come to my class, I feel like they have, it is, it's been traumatic, their experience. And that's where the healing happens. Like, integrative health, which I'm part of, is so needed, because we have, you know, you get treated by the hospital, you know, by your doctors, and you're like, free of this, or you've, you know, you've been, you know, released from treatment, in whatever way, but there's still so much healing that has to take place, right?

And if that doesn't happen, you're stuck with it, you know, so, um, can I lead you in a self -compassion practice for a moment?

Alysia Thomas: I would love that. Yes, absolutely.

Miranda Lee: So, um, we'll use the body to evoke a sense of compassion. We think of compassion as something that's, you know, we think it through or we give it to others.

But here, what we're trying to do is to evoke a sense of compassion from our bodies to ourselves. And I'm not, it's a practice. So the first time you might not feel it. Okay, and that's okay. Just, just, just be compassionate to yourself and non-judgemental. Okay.

So the first thing is when we're doing compassion practice, I always suggest that people put their hand around the heart just because the chest is a feeling center and just give yourself a little bit of a rub. And see if you can start to feel the warmth from your hand on your heart area on your chest. That's it. And just see if that feels good.

And then I'm going to invite you just to take a stretch in whatever way feels okay for you. And then bring your arms over, cross your arms over if that feels good to you. And then give yourself a hug, right? When was the last time you gave yourself a hug, right? So, our nervous system, our bodies, remember that comfort is brought through touch, right?

And we can, because as babies, this is how you comfort children, right? Yeah, and look at you guys, you're doing it already. A little bit of a sway, okay? And maybe just a bit of a, you know, loving touch on your shoulders, your arms. And of course you can say something that would... I feel good to you to say to yourself, you're in a, you know, say it to yourself inside or "I'm giving myself some, some kindness here."

You know, you've been through a challenging time and you're giving yourself some kindness and just thinking about how, how you like to be hugged, right? Some people it's like a bit further down. Some people it's higher up. Sometimes it's with a bit of massage. And then I'm going to invite you to uncross and take a stretch in whatever way feels good to you. And then we'll come back, and we'll cross our arms the other way so that the opposite arm is on top now of the hug.

Okay. And again, saying anything that feels good to you to say. "May I be kind to myself. May I be healthy. May I be at peace. May I live with ease. " Any kind of phrase that would feel good to you to say.

And then the next one, and again, it's individual, so try this out and see if it feels good to you, right? One hand on the forehead and then one hand behind the head, just holding your head. You can close your eyes if it feels good to you. Sometimes that stabilizing of the head can feel really loving and secure, or not, right?

Maybe it doesn't feel good.

And then the last one, and you know, in a class it'd probably take a bit more time over this, but I don't want to. So I'm just going to bring the base of my hand up into my eye socket, right? On either side, yeah, if you've got glasses on. And then just cup your hands over your forehead. Now if you have a table in front of you, you can lean your elbows on it.

Or just gently massage into the eye socket. And again, saying something to yourself. May you be kind to myself. "It's been challenging. And I need to give myself some kindness," or whatever would feel good to you to say, I'm taking a nice deep breath in and out and then release and just take a moment. I do it with my eyes closed, but you don't need to.

Just maybe look down at your hands in your lap and think, do I feel any different now? And again, it's coming back into the body. Does anything feel different for me right now? And again, we're just looking at any kind of sensations.

Sometimes we feel a little bit of warmth or expansion. Sometimes we feel just a sort of sense of glowing. And sometimes we don't feel anything at all. That's okay. It's all okay. But it's a practice. Yeah.

Alysia Thomas: I love that. I felt something. I thought that was really cool. And it's funny because you don't think about building self-compassion. It's just movements, you know. It's just movements, but it. It works,

Stacy Griffin: it works, but I have to, I have to add something here because with what I do as a coach, Mind Mastery is about being present in your moment with yourself. And so there is something truly powerful that happens when you allow yourself to be in your mind space compassionately.

We are rarely in our mind space compassionately without actively choosing to be so it's about choice. As far as I'm concerned, you are choosing to give yourself compassion. You are choosing to place your mind in a space that can receive it, but you have to consciously do it. Until it becomes a practice, as was mentioned by Miranda, and then that can be something that, um, continues to just become almost second, second nature, but not without the practice.

So we have to have our mind prepared to receive that compassion. And, and. Then, as we do these things physically, we are better able to connect in. So, I definitely felt something because I make a conscious effort to practice putting myself in a positive mindset because life is crazy. So, thank you for giving us something to like, make the world quiet again for a little bit.

Becky Miller: That's what I was gonna say. It was a lovely sense of calm is what I felt like. I can see how that helps, especially people with anxiety, because it was amazing to me how calm I felt after doing that. So thanks for leading us in that.

Alysia Thomas: It was a very real exercise in, in something that I think for me and probably a lot of other people, they know they need to be kinder to themselves.

We know that. We know we need to be, I mean, I do, not everybody knows that, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know it, you say it to yourself, Oh, I need to be kinder to myself. I love that you called this a practice. You have to practice it. You might not feel anything the first time or the second time or the 50th time, but it is a practice and that implies that you are doing it regularly, not just saying, Oh, I need to be kinder to myself.

How am I going to put myself in a headspace to do that? Do my practice. Like, I love that. That was, that's something I personally needed because I always, I know the things I'm supposed to do, but sometimes I don't know how to do them. And that was a beautiful exercise to teach me that. So I appreciate it.

Becky Miller: Agreed.

Stacy Griffin: Thank you for taking us on that journey with you. I appreciate it. Um, we talk about gentle movement, but we also talk a lot about joyful movement. That movement should be something that brings us joy. So, out of curiosity, Miranda, what kinds of movement bring you joy personally? Like, what does Miranda do when she just wants to feel joyful?

Miranda Lee: Oh, dancing in my kitchen, for sure.

Becky Miller: Two thumbs up on that one. Yeah,

Miranda Lee: I mean, that's what I like to do. You know, when no one's watching, but I've got something cooking on the stove. I'm just standing there, you know, moving my body. That, but I think, um, I definitely feel joy in my own movement practices, whatever I'm doing. Um, like my yoga practice, walking, just noticing the beauty, you know, a hike in nature can be very joyful too.

For me, um, you know, it depends on the company as well, that can bring more joy. But yeah, movement definitely can help us to find those moments of joy, those glimmers of joy.

Stacy Griffin: I love that you said that because dancing in the kitchen is one of my great joys.

I there's there's something so beautiful about making dinner and in those dead times while you're waiting things for things to sizzle or cook or boil or whatever. There's, there's, that's the perfect time to have music on and just, even if it's just swaying while you're stirring, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's lovely. It's a lovely experience. So I love that. That's something you enjoy doing.

Alysia Thomas: And there's therapeutic value to that joyful move of dancing, even just, even just like jumping around and running around just for joy. Like, it sounds silly, but there is. real therapeutic value in that kind of movement.

Miranda Lee: Yes, 100%. It definitely livens your mood for sure, yeah.

Becky Miller: Kind of along the same lines, in ways to find joy or making movement more fun, do you ever recommend using things like music or audio books or any kind of habit stacking or anything to help movement feel more fun and approachable for people?

Miranda Lee: Yeah. That word "habit stacking," um, what do you already have in your life that you love if it's listening to a story stand up move your body as you're listening to your story, you know. Find something that you like to do and add to it so you'll be doing it anyway, like, you know, obviously if you like listening to music that's an obvious one to add some dancing to, but um anything anything that you enjoy doing.

Watching the kettle boil, because I'm a tea drinker. You know, take a little bit of a stretch then. It doesn't need to be much, but it could be, um, you know, something. I'm looking forward to having my cup of tea. I have one every day. Add a bit of movement there. Yeah.

Stacy Griffin: So, shifting gears a little bit, let's talk about sustainability, because I think that that's something that, you know, we've, we've talked about it briefly in, in some ways, but many people who are chronically ill really struggle with consistency because every day is different. I may wake up in the morning and feel amazing. Other mornings, I wake up and can hardly move. So what tips do you give to someone who's trying to build a sustainable routine when they have fluctuating energy?

Miranda Lee:  I mean, I'm going to go back on repetition. We're going to go back to the first thing, self -compassion. What is kind for me today, right? Um, sometimes it's kind for me to not move, right? It's just too much. But there's other days where it's actually going to be kind for me to move because I, I do have the energy and I know how good it's going to make me feel when I do something in the early morning, I'll feel less pain as I go through the day.

But it's definitely about giving yourself choice. And the kindness to not do as well as to do. Um, and only you will know that. So that's a very personal journey. Um, yeah,

Stacy Griffin: thank you for repeating it because I think it needs to be, I think it deserves repeating. I think of everything we have talked about today.

The thing that I have learned the most is that I am not as compassionate with myself as I should be. That I am, I, I try. But you've given me some very actionable ways that I can embrace that more fully. So I appreciate that so much.

Becky Miller: Yeah, agreed. I think it's really easy. I know one of the things that I always have to try and give myself compassion with is I get guilty. And it's not even comparing - because I know I can't do as much as I used to do - but sometimes even it's just comparing what I did yesterday to what I'm physically able to do today. And like you said, just recognizing that every day is going to be different and you can give yourself compassion every day.

I think that's very important. Also, like you mentioned exercising when you're waiting for your tea to boil, which I think is fantastic. Because one of the other questions we had is. Do you have any good suggestions for little movements people could incorporate in those those bursts throughout the day little things like, you know, while you're on a commercial break, or like you said, while you're waiting for the tea to boil or whatever, just, you know, if you have something in the microwave, whatever it is, little minute here, minute there, like, do you have any good suggestions on movements that are helpful?

Miranda Lee: Yeah, I mean, there's tons, and it really depends on, again, I'm just thinking about what I suggest to my students in the class, and it depends on what you're working for, uh, working on.

It depends on your, You know, health challenges, um, and, you know, where pain is in your body, right? But, within all of that, just finding things that feel good to you. and doing them as many times as possible. So for example, um, one of my students in the class, um, you know, she's, she had, she's, she's been in treatment for breast cancer, so one of her arms is weaker and a lot of the lymph nodes, um, have been removed from her. So she has lymphoma. Um, so we've been working on figuring out how to bring more movement. Into her side of her body and her arm through the day. So, This kind of stretch and doing it on both sides as she's waiting for the microwave. That's her practice, right?

Um, another of my students has a lot of pain. Um, she has sciatica. So, um, So there's a sciatica exercise where you can sit in a chair and you may well know it. It's called the figure four. You bring one of your knee up in your ankle just above your knee when she's been sitting down for a while to remember to do that.

So it's really about, you know, I suspect as I'm saying this, you guys are thinking about. Things that you know feels good to you and it's just about fight figuring out how can I do that in my day like exercise does not have to be this big chunk of time, you know, we're all really busy. It can literally be whilst you're waiting for the kettle and waiting for something in the microwave and stirring the pot and doing a little bit of dancing, you know, and when you're sitting down watching TV, maybe even elevating your feet.

That helps with blood flow, you know, so, um, so instead of just sitting with your feet on the ground, elevate your feet when you're watching TV. It's just about being intentional about bringing it into your life, yeah.

Alysia Thomas: Those are great tools. I, I personally have always struggled with enjoying exercise and so I have a hard time making myself prioritize that chunk of time to do it.

But if I just did that throughout the course of my day and started, okay, every time I'm standing at the sink doing dishes, I'm going to engage my core, you know, or every time I am waiting for my tea to my water to boil, I am going to do some calf raises or, you know, whatever. That way, I'm not like taking this chunk of my day and doing exercise, which can be extremely exhausting to do it in one sitting for me. So, breaking it up like that, it all counts! It all counts! I love that! That's another one. I'm loving this. This is good for me.

Um, so what's your take on using accountability tools? Because I know a lot of people, like, I get a thrill of gamifying things. So if I have an app that is like, You need to keep up your streak doing something or having a workout buddy or just to help something that might help you stay engaged without pressure on you if you might need to take it easier that day. What kind of accountability tools are you a fan of?

Miranda Lee: Yeah, so I'm thinking more about meditation tools here because that's um, so and I think they really do work.

So I have a program to teach meditation and this kind of doable. Short way, um, integrating movement because I think that everything I do is meditative, right? But, um, and I think having someone to walk with you when you first start to keep you going, but also. In a compassionate way is, it can be really helpful because habit formation takes about three to four weeks and, um, and it's all about consistency and repetition. So I think that's really helpful for beginning.

But again, if it becomes something where you're like, oh, the judgment is starting to creep in. Oh, I didn't do it. Um, Oh, I'm too tired today and now I feel really bad because I'm letting someone down. That, I think, you have to just watch. Because, again, we know, as I've mentioned, from self -compassion, you're more productive, you get more done, uh, when we're long -term, when we're self -compassionate.

If we start to beat ourselves up, and this thing that we're trying to integrate into our life now because of a chore, something that we're guilty about, that's gonna turn you off it. So it's a, it's a careful balance, um, of how you do it, let's say.

Alysia Thomas: Yeah, you do really have to be mindful of it, right? You have to be very much paying attention to your body and be mindful of those choices, um, that you're making throughout the day for those movements.

I love, I love that. You've been so, so helpful.

Becky Miller: Um, as we're getting ready to wrap up, um, we were just wondering if you have a mantra or a phrase that you use in your own life. We talk about like positive affirmations and things that help people. Is there something that is your own personal mantra or or phrase that might might help somebody who's having a low energy day or might help somebody who's struggling to get the motivation to do something to even do the little things?

Miranda Lee: Sure. Well, we kind of went through it already. But, um, you know, during the pandemic, I started a daily self -compassion practice the moment I wake up. And the way I do it is I put my hand on my heart and I say, "May I be kind to myself. May I be healthy in my mind and my body. May I be happy and may I live with ease," which are kind of traditional phrases, um, for this kind of practice. Um, you can change them up in any way that feels good to you. But if you're wanting to start being more compassionate to yourself, I say from personal experience, it works and it starts to transform your life. So, yeah, that's, that's my, that's my practice. Yeah.

Becky Miller: Love it. Thank you for sharing.

Alysia Thomas: We'd like you to have the opportunity to talk about what what you're offering and if other people can come find you or whatever. We want you to have an opportunity to to gain from our conversation as well.

Miranda Lee: Yeah, sure. No, thank you. I really appreciate that.

I have a book that's for sale on Amazon of like small, um, meditation practices. I can send you the link for that. Um, and I also have my website. I teach. Like I said, I think I told you I have an eight -week course, it's online, um, that I teach how to, how to, basically everything we talked about as I practice it.

Um, and I also do workshops and retreats. Um, so yeah, I'll share, I'll share the links with you. And, um, yeah, really, I'm trying to, you know, trying to help people be kind to themselves and less anxious and stressed. Um, because these very simple tools, which are so ancient also have so much science now behind them.

And as you said, we know that we need to be kind to ourselves, but how do we actually do it? We know that we need to be more mindful, but how do we actually do it? So that's really the message I'm trying to... share because we know how to do it. Just we just need to stop and pause and learn.

Stacy Griffin: All right. That's wonderful. Well, it has been lovely sitting down with you today, Miranda, and getting to know you and having you teach us. We so appreciate, um, your teacher heart that that brings us a lot of joy. Um, We want to thank you for helping us reshape how we think about movement and how we think about being self -compassionate and to our listeners.

Remember that movement isn't about perfection. It is about presence. It's about compassion and it is about trusting your body to tell you what it needs. We'll have Miranda's links in the show notes, so be sure to check out her general movement routines, her mindset tools, and her lovely book on Amazon.

Be intentional and move in a way that brings you joy, because you are worthy of joy. Your disease does not define your life. You do.

Miranda Lee's Contact Info:

https://www.findthatpause.com

@find_that_pause on Instagram

https://www.linkedin.com › in › mirandalee56283

https://linktr.ee › findthatpause

The 5-Minute Meditation Journal: Quick Guided Meditations for a Calmer, Happier You by Miranda Lee:

https://amzn.to/4nEfN6A

*The Amazon link above is an affiliate link. Using these links will not cost you anything extra, but as an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.