S2 E2: Growth Mindset and a Sense of Humor

Alysia Thomas: Welcome back to Autoimmune Adventures friends. Today we are going to be talking about the very first of our big six and the most important and that is cultivating a growth mindset and a sense of humor. So a growth mindset if you haven't heard that before is it's the belief that our abilities and our intelligence can grow with effort and perseverance.

It's not only believing but knowing that you are capable of change. You can change the way you think and you can change your behavior. And it really does start in... where with your mindset. So the reason that's so valuable to us that are dealing with autoimmunity is because it helps us shift from feeling stuck or helpless to accepting and eventually embracing those challenges that are coming at us as opportunities to learn and to grow and to progress on our health journey.  And we want to talk about how to apply this mindset in your everyday life. it takes effort and so we're going to give you some strategies to reshape your thinking and ways to help you stay resilient through the ups and downs of chronic illness. So, let's get started!

Becky Miller: A key part of developing a growth mindset is shifting perspective. When it comes to chronic illness, we often think of health as a final destination, somewhere we're trying to reach, whether it's remission or a cure.  But the truth is with autoimmune disease, it's a lifelong journey. It's not a final stop. So instead of being discouraged by setbacks, we need to try and learn to see them as a way to progress. Even small improvements matter. You've probably heard the saying, if you get 1% better every day, that adds up to meaningful change over time.

And I'm sure that some of us feel with autoimmunity, how can we even do 1% better when we're feeling awful and we're struggling to put in an effort? But even if you're not having a good day and it's more like 000.1%. Anything that you can do is something and it adds up over time. If you're stuck in bed all day because of pain, watch an educational film or a documentary. if you're too sick to even watch a movie, try listening to. music. Work on your music appreciation. Take it in a new light.

Look at us as something different. If you're so over stimulated that the only thing you can do is curl up in a dark room, take some calming breaths and acknowledge your pain and build up courage to ask help if you need it. We need to let go of the idea that we have to be perfect and instead look at our lives and our diseases even as a way to work towards steady sustainable growth.

Stacy Griffin: Setbacks aren't failures, they're lessons. So, we have to remind ourself that perfection, it's a really tough thing to shake. I mean, many of us feel like if we're not doing everything absolutely right that we're somehow failing. But that's simply not true. Sometimes we're going to have a rough day. Setbacks are lessons. They're not supposed to be failures. So, we've got to take these little signals from our bodies that when they're saying, "Hey, something is off. Let's try something different," and think of it as a chance to adjust to learn more about what works for you personally and maybe most importantly to practice being patient with yourself. 

If we can shift our mindset and see these challenges as stepping stones instead of roadblocks, then we can keep moving forward and we might be able to slow down sometimes and think about it, but slowing down doesn't mean we have to feel stuck or defeated. It just means that we're slowing down to give ourselves time to absorb and understand what our body needs and what's happening to us.

Living with autoimmunity changes a lot of things for us. And that doesn't mean that we can't find joy along the way. So much of it comes down to perspective, which means we have to spend some time cultivating a better perspective. And honestly, sometimes you just have to laugh about what's going on. Like, how many of us end up googling symptoms at 3:00 a.m. and suddenly we're convinced that we've got some rare tropical disease that only exists in one village halfway around the world and now we have to figure out how we got it.

Stacy Griffin:  And that kind of humor gives us a little bit of breathing room because when we stop, and we think, we realize, of course I don't have that, right? Yes, I have all these weird symptoms but there's got to be a other answer. And that guides us and helps us to seek those answers and get the help that we need. It reminds us that we're human and we need to face that humanity and enjoy the humor that will occasionally ensue because of that.

Alysia Thomas: Absolutely. Humor makes it so much easier when you are, we talked about in our first episode, dropped at the foot of this big mountain, which is an autoimmune disease diagnosis, and you are expected to start climbing and you were staring up. You're overwhelmed. You don't know how far you have to go. And instead of focusing on how steep the climb is, you take it one step at a time. 

Alysia Thomas: And then some days you're going to feel like you're making great progress. you're going to feel good and you're going to be moving higher and you're going to be going faster and feeling stronger. And then other days you're going to slip and you're going to fall. You're going to stumble or you're just going to need to stop and take a rest. And what a growth mindset is going to give us is that it's going to help us understand that each of those setbacks is actually teaching us something.

And we've got to be aware and present to learn those things that it's trying to teach us. So you learn from those things. You learn which path is easier to take, right? You learn how and when to pace yourself. You learn how to adapt to the terrain, whatever that might be. And most importantly, you learn to pay attention to your body and to your mind and what they are telling you. So the goal here is not to reach the summit.  We can't emphasize that enough. when it comes to a growth mindset, There is no end. It It's a continual journey that we're on. So, we keep climbing, and keep learning, and we keep growing along the way the whole time. And although sometimes the mountain is going to throw you a snowball at your head if you live in Minnesota, you're not going to expect that stuff.

But if you can kind of take it with a grain of salt, maybe laugh about it if you can find the humor somewhere, it makes the climb feel a little less miserable. And humor, it's not going to cure your disease, but it does help make things feel lighter than they are. it makes all the stuff you're carrying feel a little bit lighter. And so we really do tie in a sense of humor with a growth mindset because we have found value in that. And as we've mentioned before probably it might be as you move along in your autoimmune diagnosis and your year in your autoimmune journey that you develop a bit of a dark sense of humor. And that's totally normal. Don't be concerned.

Becky Miller: So maybe you're thinking, "Hey, that's easy for you to say, but how can I laugh or even smile when I'm hurting all the time? I'm struggling to get out of bed, to shower, to get dressed, to just do everyday things." And We've been there. Those of us with chronic illness face loads of physical, cognitive, and emotional challenges every day. And our brains are actually naturally wired to focus on threats and challenges. It's a built-in survival instinct.

Becky Miller: And so you know that you hear that and you're like, "Well, how can I ever think positively?" Here's the really good news. Science has proven that you can train your brain to shift towards positivity, resilience, and emotional balance, no matter what your health condition is or your age. And we're going to have a lot of these studies in our show notes or if you're on YouTube in the comments, but one of the studies was published in BMC Psychology.  People who were chronically ill and were going through kidney treatments felt less stressed and anxious after they took part in eight sessions that taught them how to think more positively.

Becky Miller: And in another study that was published in cognitive therapy and research, they were looking at how cognitive behavioral therapy, which is often called CBT therapy, helps people with chronic illnesses and cancer feel less anxious and depressed and they reviewed 39 different studies that showed that cognitive behavioral therapy works well to lower anxiety and depression by teaching patients to change negative thoughts and to cope better even with ongoing health problems. The study showed the longer the session session okay go the study shows that the longer the personalized sessions were the better they were for helping people feel better mentally by rewiring how their b brain handled tough emotions. And like I mentioned we'll have links to those and other studies that show that.

Becky Miller: So, you might wonder how you can think positively, but the answer is you can actually rewire your brain. You can retrain your brain. It's pretty amazing stuff.

Stacy Griffin: You'll notice that in none of these studies did people just listen to one pep talk and suddenly walk away saying, "Hooray, my fear, my anxiety, my negative thoughts, they're cured." Because it just doesn't work that way. You need multiple sessions if you're going to do this kind of therapy, ongoing support, and you need time. And that makes sense. It's called the growth mindset for a reason. It's a process. And you also need to acknowledge that there is grief going on here. So, when you're going through CBT, you're going to have grief to deal with as well. And that takes time and you have to process things. It doesn't happen instantly.

And it definitely doesn't happen overnight. That's different from when someone casually says, "If you want to feel better, you just need to think more positively." That's not what we're saying here, We're saying that it's something that happens over time. It's something that you grow over time, that you work on over time. And if there's some magic switch that we could flip that says, "Wow. Why didn't I think of that? I feel amazing now."  We can't do that. That's not the way that this works. It's not simple. And honestly, comments like that can really feel dismissive, even if they're well-meaning. And so, you have to take those comments in the way that they were intended. Someone's saying this because they care about you. They want you to feel better, but they're not going to understand what you're going through. You have to grant them the grace of understanding that they don't understand. And then you have to move forward and do what is right for you and get yourself the help that you need.

Alysia Thomas: And there are a lot of online resources that can help you. if you don't have access to a professional, if you can't afford access to a professional, if you don't have insurance or whatever your issues may be, we would encourage you to seek professional help if you can get access to it. If you can't, there are a lot of online resources that can help you. There are also support groups online that you can join.

Alysia Thomas: and keep in mind and there are apps that you can get that will help you. I know I have an app that I love. I've been using it for several months now called Fabulous and it helps me be compassionate to myself. It helps me stay on track getting done the basic things that I need to do every day. I'm not talking like I'm using this app to meet amazing goals.  I'm talking I'm using this app to remind me to take care of my body and my mind, right? It gives me little reminders. and I love it and it's a beautiful app. It has a lot of helpful things. I have enjoyed it immensely. So, you don't have to get an app. You don't have to be able to go to a therapist. There are so many resources, too many for us to possibly even begin to list.

Alysia Thomas: Do your homework. Find some support systems. Find some information. I mean, you can learn how to do this, guys. I have not had a therapist teach me how to have a growth mindset, but I learned about it years ago. I start adding things into my life to help me do it, eliminating things that are making it hard. And over years, I have made progress. I always want to make more progress than I'm making, but I have made progress. And that's the beauty of a growth mindset. You let each of those setbacks count. and they're part of your journey. They're not taking you away from your journey. They're part of your journey.

Alysia Thomas: And so find those resources, start implementing them, and catch yourself in those negative thought patterns and switch them back when you start feeling them.

Becky Miller: One of the most powerful ways to develop a growth mindset is to start seeing, like Alysia was saying, our setbacks, our flares, and things like that that we have with chronic illness as learning experiences. Instead of thinking, I am back to square one.  I'm starting all over again. We can start saying, "Okay, what happened here? And what can this teach me?" Because maybe it was something we ate. Maybe it's something we did. maybe it was an emotional stressor, an environmental stressor that triggered our flare. And if we pay attention, we'll start to notice patterns. And this is where it's really good idea to track things. Whether you write them down, you take notes on your phone or whatever, journal, reflect on what's happening, and it can help you adjust and prevent future flares.

Becky Miller: And every experience can provide knowledge that helps make us stronger. So, while we're tracking symptoms, I mean, as we're talking about humor here, think about some of the weird ones. I mean, I would love to hear them in the comments. Some of you that feel like you have some weird symptoms. I mean, why does my left eyebrow itch when I eat tomatoes? Why can't I walk through a door frame without clocking my arm when I'm in a flare? I could totally see the door frame. I'm pretty sure my brain accounted for the space, and yet I still walk into it like it appeared out of nowhere. The autoimmune journey can be so strange. It's almost like our bodies are playing pranks on us sometimes, and we just lean into the absurdity, and keep things in perspective.

Stacy Griffin: And part of that perspective is the ability to be flexible. Now there are going to be days where we are so far from being physically flexible because we're in so much pain. But our minds can remain flexible. Our minds can help us shift and change to adjust to what we need on any given day.

So, we have to be willing to shift our routines, try new strategies, and most importantly, we have to be gentle with ourselves when things don't go according to plan because they're not going to go according to plan, quite often. Let's face it, for those of us with a perfectionist mindset, we're setting ourselves up for some severe frustration because we're not going to be perfect. We are going to walk into door frames. We are going to not be able to find a word at the most key moment we possibly need it. These are things that are going to happen and there's going to be unpredictable challenges especially when you're managing something like a chronic illness. But if we give ourselves permission to change and grow, we're going to open up a door to something that is truly valuable, and that's joy. Even in the middle of all the hard stuff, we can find joy.

A rigid approach is not going to serve us It makes everything heavier. So, we have to have a flexible mindset. It makes things a lot more manageable. And honestly, humor is totally a form of flexibility.  Finding humor in the hard stuff. That's the ultimate show of flexibility. When everything feels like it's completely spiraling out of control, sometimes just laughing at the chaos, even if it's only once, even if it's just that, it can make the whole thing feel a lot lighter. And it triggers in our mind the actual neurons of laughing trigger in our mind endorphins. So laughing gives us that little bit of shot of feel-good even if it's only for a moment, but it's enough for that clarity and removing of that perspective to a place where maybe we can make a better choice than we would in our frustration and anger.

Alysia Thomas: Agreed, and even sarcastic laughter is still helpful laughter, but I think another huge piece of this is the way we speak to ourselves, our self-talk. And I know at least for myself. personally, during my years of discovering my autoimmune illnesses and learning how to live with them, I was pretty hard on myself. I was really pretty unkind to myself. And the way we speak to ourselves has a direct impact on our mindset and on our well being. So that was part of when I started learning about growth mindset.

I also started learning to talk to myself in a kinder tone because you need to talk to yourself like you would speak to loved someone you love dearly, your spouse, your child, your sibling, somebody that you care for. And ask yourself when you're telling yourself things, would you say that to somebody you love? Would you say that to your child if they were having the issues you were having?  So when we treat ourselves with that kindness and patience that we offer other people, it helps us let go of that perfectionist mindset which is so toxic. It's so hard to live up to. It just makes us feel terrible. Perfectionism is not serving you. You need to let it go. because it's going to also when you let go of that perfectionism, you're going to let go of a lot of self-criticism as well and you're going to replace it with encouragement.

And so every time we make that mental shift to change our internal dialogue to something more compassionate, we are reinforcing that growth mindset that we're working on. Right? So also I like to give my inner critic a name and respond to her with a little reality check.

Alysia Thomas: And the name is usually different every time, but it will sometimes go something like this. "You're in the gym. Your hair is greasy. You haven't showered today. And everybody is probably looking at you thinking how gross that you came into the public space like that."

And I have to pause when I recognize that and say, "Thank you for your input, Helen. But, I don't think anybody at the gym actually cares or even notices that my hair is greasy and it's in a ponytail. So, kindly shove off and let me get my workout done," and you just address it. And I'm trying to be pretty kind to Helen or Patricia or Janet, whatever she is that day. I try to be kind. but every once in a while I get a little snotty back at that voice and say, "Yeah, no, you're not serving me. Go away. I don't need you here."

So, another a little bit of humor - addressing the fact that we do have those inner critics for a reason. They really are trying to protect us, but it's not serving you to listen to those voices. So, you have to learn to catch yourself when you're saying things negatively to yourself. and redirect. Just redirect. Whether it's talking to your inner voice, whether it is, And just saying to yourself, I recognize that was something unkind. How could I frame that in a more compassionate way?

Becky Miller: So, as we're talking about reframing, too, one of the ways we can do that is kind of change the way that we look at things.  A lot of times when we're diagnosed with a chronic illness, we feel like we're losing all of these things that we used to be able to do and we're losing abilities and we're losing, things that we used to like to eat maybe that we can't anymore. And it's hard to say you're losing something. And so maybe reframe it to say you're releasing it. You're letting it go. However you want to say, by releasing it because it doesn't serve you anymore. it used to be really awesome that you could go and eat that chocolate cake that you love so much, but now that you, are trying to stay off of sugar and off of gluten, maybe that's not the best choice for you.

The shift in language can actually make a huge difference. Adjusting to new dietary needs, lifestyle changes or activity level levels can feel really restrictive at first. And so if we try to view these adjustments as ways to care for ourselves rather than sacrifices, it becomes empowering instead of limiting. And that's a game changer.

Becky Miller: And one of those ways again is to bring humor into it. Finding your moments of laughter even in difficulty help lighten the load. And like we said, whether you're choosing dark humor or whatever, humor can be really healing. the example that I always think of at my house is because I have lupus, I am sun intolerant, and I also shouldn't eat garlic. And I happen to be pale and anemic.  And probably I look a little more so this week because I'm getting over a cold, but it's a standing joke at my house that I am our resident vampire. So when it's dinner time and I'm at my house separating my pasta from everybody else's because they want to drench it in garlicy goodness that I miss so much and I'm closing the blinds on a beautifully bright day because my skin feels like it's on fire and I can't handle the sun.

Becky Miller: Being able to crack a joke and laugh together about me being a vampire doesn't mean that I don't miss eating garlic and it doesn't mean that I don't miss basking in the sun, but it definitely dulls the sting of missing those things and it makes them a little easier.

I mean, Stacy and Alysia, did you have anything that you guys have found that helped bring healing humor in your life, I guess?

Stacy Griffin: Well, one of the things that I have to agree with you, Beck, is that I am the resident vampire for the exact same reasons that you are. But another one that makes me laugh is that I always like to joke about, having celiac disease has really got me off this carb train I used to be on without bread and pasta and all these other things. I have released the carbohydrates. And so I'm a little snide about it and I say it with a lot of dark humor because I really enjoy myself a good piece of garlic bread and I can't do that anymore. So, I have to embrace that. So, that's what I do.

Alysia Thomas: Yeah. I love memes and clips, little videos, little I love following people... there's a couple people on social media that I really love following just be for their content that crack me up. They take the everyday challenges of living with chronic illness and frame them in a humorous way. And I love that. I identify with that. It makes me happy. I can share with the people who will understand and they understand. That is a little lift to my day actually go I would say another thing that it has been helpful to me is affirmations. Is that something you guys do? Do you have affirmations that you love?

Stacy Griffin: I do it on purpose. I say it before I feel the pain, before stiffness, before the fatigue sets in because once I'm up and moving, those symptoms will probably show up. But by starting my day with a positive intention, I'm setting the tone on my terms. It doesn't magically erase the hard stuff, but it does give me a little bit of a head start and a mindset that says, "Okay, no matter what today brings, I'm going to look for something good." It's a small way to make a huge difference in my daily life. And a good attitude always helps. And over time, those small things can add up and they become habits. And then that anchors me so that I know where I need to be during the day.

I believe that affirmations can be a real game changer. The way that we frame our thoughts has a huge impact on how we shape our reality. So if we wake up and tell ourselves, today is going to be great. I'm starting the day with a mindset that sets me up to handle whatever comes my way. Then that's great. And that doesn't mean that every day is going to be fantastic. Some days are just going to be tough. But our thoughts are very powerful. And what we choose to focus on, whether it's hope, gratitude, or just making it through, can completely shift our experience. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I tell myself, "Today is going to be fabulous."

Stacy Griffin: And that comes from the Fabulous app that Alysia was telling us about. So "Today is going to be fabulous. I will make a difference in my students life.  and I will find joy on my own terms."

Becky Miller: For me, probably my personal favorite affirmation is "We don't find the happy life, we make it." I actually have it on my fridge where I can see it every day. 

And for me, part of finding the happy life is having something to look forward to, having a purpose in the morning, something that gets me out of bed. And I live on a farm, so that works really well. on those days where I'm really, really genuinely in pain and can't go, I have wonderful family members who help.  But in general, I really make an effort because it is what gets me going in the morning to go out and feed the animals in the morning and make that my chore because that's my way to get me up and going on a positive note. It's always a good way to start your morning when you have a menagerie of cats and dogs and pigs and birds that are all excited to see me. They're happy to see me. I mean, obviously I'm bringing their breakfast, so they're happy to see their breakfast, too. But especially my kitties and my doggies love to love on me even if - whether or I have breakfast with me. But point being, good things in the morning, good things to look forward to. And so finding something like that is I think in and of itself it's kind of own affirmation.

Alysia Thomas: I agree. I think that when we have autoimmune disease, sometimes we can let go of a lot of things that require any level of responsibility like pets, extracurriculars, volunteering, things like that. We give them up because it's so difficult to have so much on our plate. But I think we do have to be careful to not give up those things that give us purpose and drive, right? We need to keep those things.

I mean, thank goodness I have kids because if I didn't, I would probably be a lazy lump, but I have kids and I want to do the best by those kids, and I get out of bed in the morning for my kids and myself, but sure my kids are I want to make sure their life is good. So, okay, back to affirmations. I just had to plug that in there. But I love affirmations. I'm a big fan.  Probably my favorite is "When you know better, you do better."

Alysia Thomas: And honestly, I think I heard it on Oprah or Dr. Phil or something. I don't know. I heard it a long time ago and it clicked in my brain and I've loved it ever since because you do better when you know better. And so to me that is motivation to never stop learning how to take care of myself.  And all of us, we really get into researching and learning and getting into the nitty-gritty of how to take care of ourselves better, which is why we're sharing this kind of stuff with you guys. So, I'd say that's one that I love. I have another one hanging in my house that says "I can do hard things."

Alysia Thomas: And I would say that that pretty much encompasses everything, Sometimes I tell myself that when it's just like I'm in a flare and I've got to get the laundry done. It feels really hard to get that laundry done. And sometimes that's my hard thing. And other times a hard thing is going to be the season of life that you're in. you might have a tantruming toddler. You might have a special needs child. You might be taking care of an elderly parent, and managing your own issues as well. that's pretty stressful and that those seasons of life, it's good to remind ourselves that we can do hard things.

And then I would say the last one that I tell myself regularly is that "I am on a lifelong journey to be happier and healthier." So as we always talk about this is a journey. There's no destination. It's a lifelong thing. We're just trekking the whole time. And it reminds me that growth is ongoing. It's something that I'm always doing and that is the way it's supposed to be. And I feel like it helps me build resilience.

Becky Miller: Yeah. And resilience is key, guys. Living with autoimmunity means we're facing daily challenges, but how we respond to them determines our experience. And some days, making it through the day is what our victory is.  And other days we might feel like we're barely holding on. And that's okay, too. Progress is not always going to be linear. I think we have this idea that that's the way it should be. But we might take a longer switchback trail and kind of go forward and backward in a little bit to avoid the really super steep vertical climb.

Becky Miller: Old you might have said, I'm going to push through and do all the housework today because I just want to get it over and done with.

Becky Miller: But new you is going to say, guess what? I'm taking this in small blocks of time. I am going to do maybe a little bit here. I'm going to get the dishes put away and then I'm going to take a break and then I'm going to come in and maybe I'll try reloading the dishwasher and then I'll take a break. And even if it takes you a few days or a few weeks to clean the house or if you have to ask somebody for help because you're really just not physically able to do it yourself, it's going to be okay.

Becky Miller: Setbacks and needed rest do not erase the growth that you've made. And what matters is that you're continuing to show up for yourself even when it's hard. Resilience isn't about avoiding difficulties. It's about learning how to get up again after we fall.

Stacy Griffin: And another part of resilience, the part that people don't talk about is grief. I know it's kind of hard to understand how grief can be part of resilience, but grieving is healthy. It is a healthy thing to do when you have lost something. And we have lost a lot when we get a chronic illness. So, because you're living with a chronic or autoimmune condition, you're not just managing your symptoms, you're also mourning the loss of the life you used to have, the way that things used to be.

Stacy Griffin: And that's very hard. And sometimes that grief can be subtle. It might just be missing the energy you used to wake up with or realizing that you can't do everything you once did without really paying a price. But other times it hits a wave. It is completely unexpected. It's overwhelming. It's nearly incapacitating. And you're going about your day and suddenly you're hit with a memory of how things used to be.  And that hurts. And you'll sit and maybe you'll cry. I'm going to be honest with you guys. Just this week, I had one of those moments. I was overwhelmed with grief. And I have had many of these diseases for well over a decade. had Hashimoto's for 20 years. But here's the thing. It's okay even after all that time to grieve those changes.

In fact, it's kind of necessary. That grief is a way that we cleanse ourselves and remind ourselves that we have lost something and we're allowed to grieve. And pushing that down, hiding that, ignoring it, pretending that everything is fine, it doesn't build resilience. It builds walls. It doesn't build vulnerability. It doesn't build a community with other people who hurt. It puts you into a very solitary and frightening place where you are alone and hurting and not getting the help you need. True resilience comes from facing that grief, processing it, giving yourself permission to feel that pain, not to stay stuck in it, but to acknowledge it and honor it. And then slowly to make space for the new possibilities of the life that you have now.

Stacy Griffin: creating new routines, finding new joys, finding new ways of living well, even if it looks different from the way that it was before. That's where the growth really begins. I think of how I used to run through life with never a care in the world and just doing everything at mach 10.  And now for the first time in my life, I have slowed down enough that I was able to just sit one day out on my porch and watch the flowers bloom - literally, and it was stunningly beautiful and I never would have slowed down to do that before. So those new routines, you look for those new joys and that's where the growth happens. Not from ignoring your loss, not from trying to avoid thinking about it, but instead making peace with the now, so that you can find new ways to thrive.

Alysia Thomas: I think that's actually one of those little unexpected blessings of autoimmune disease is that it really does cause us to live more in the moment, which sometimes is a blessing and sometimes is a curse. But it definitely has had some benefits I would say. So along those lines I was thinking about this that grief is very often tied to past traumas, Obviously we can be mourning the loss of the life we wanted to lead and such. But we would be remiss to not talk about trauma and the effect that has on our health, right?

So, autoimmune diseases, they can often bring up old wounds. they can bring them to the surface, things that both physically and emotionally, mentally have affected you. And I believe vice versa as well, because I believe personally that trauma is stored in your body some way or somehow, and that if that trauma is not addressed, it can lead to more illness. I don't know that there's any way to prove that with hard science.  Maybe there is, I don't know, but I personally do believe that. so if you're struggling and you need to seek support. Because whether it's from friends or family a professional, whatever, it can be life-changing.

Alysia Thomas: And sometimes, if you're like me, I'm a talker. Sometimes all it takes is just having a good conversation with one of my sisters or my husband or one of my good friends and sometimes I'll preface it. "Listen, I'm fine. Things are fine. I just need to dump for a minute. Can you just let me just dump? I'm sad because I couldn't do A, B, and C.  And I wanted to do not only A, B, and C, but I wanted to do A, B, C, D, and E. And I only got A done today. And it really made me mad because I just didn't have that energy in my power bar to do it."

And sometimes just voicing it is time that's all I need really. and sometimes I don't even verbalize it. My husband will just see that it was a hard day and I'll just say yeah it was a rough day. Acknowledging it it. It was a rough day. Yep, that wasn't how I wanted it to go. Yep, I didn't get as much done as I wanted to. Acknowledge it and don't push it down. Don't berate yourself - just acknowledge it just is right it's not good it's not bad it just is so acknowledge  accept it. Again, if you can get help, if you can get therapy and you really are struggling, go for it. But once again, there are a lot of free resources online. There are libraries and support groups and helplines and all kinds of things. And nobody should have to navigate this alone.

It is very isolating to be suffering and not have anybody understand what is going on, not have anybody understand the significance and the impact on your life of that suffering. So take those small steps whether it's talking to a trusted loved one finding a support group or getting a therapist. take those steps that you need because even small steps, just having a conversation that really can make a difference for some of us. Don't do it alone. Just don't do it alone.

Becky Miller: Yeah, definitely don't do it alone. Steve Jobs once said, "If you want to go fast, go alone. And if you want to go far, go together." Because this is an ongoing journey, we're going to go far anyway, so we might as well go with people that can help us. And support systems are going to make all the difference.  other things that are really good and helpful - practicing mindfulness we've talked a lot about that things that you have to accept and things that you just have to recognize they just have to be the grief and the moving on all those things and just having a sense of mindfulness. If you're not sure about mindfulness and meditation practices, again, there are some great online resources. Look it up on YouTube.

Becky Miller: there are a lot of great ones that they do guided meditation, a lot of really good things. Simply taking a few minutes a day to focus on your own personal breathing can actually strengthen your mental resilience and create clarity. Grounding ourselves in the present moment can allow us to regain control over our thoughts and emotions.

Alysia Thomas: Okay, And if you don't have that support system, we're here for you. leave a note, leave a comment, contact us, let us know what you want us to talk about, share your story. We love hearing from people. We love, building our community, and we love offering the support that we can offer you.

Stacy Griffin: Thank you so much for joining us for this second session of our Season 2. We're grateful that you've chosen to spend this time with us and be a part of our audience. It truly means the world to us. We hope we can be part of your support system, as was mentioned ,as you navigate your journey.  If you have any questions or topics you would like us to cover, please don't hesitate to reach out. We love hearing from you. And don't forget, if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, and visit us at autoimmuneadventures.com. We're excited to continue this journey together and can't wait to hear your thoughts and your comments. Remember, you are worthy of joy, and your disease does not define your life. You do.

HELPFUL LINKS:

The Best Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Apps of 2025 According to ChooseTherapy.com

•Best Overall - MindDoc

•Best for Anxiety - MindShift CBT

•Best for Depression - MoodTools 

•Best with Therapy - Online-Therapy.com

•Best AI Chatbot - Youper 

•Best for Journaling - Clarity

•Best for a Mood Boost - Happify

•Best for Insomnia - CBT-I Coach

•Best Free App - What’s Up? A Mental Health App

One of our personal favorites: Fabulous: Daily Habit Tracker

Funny, Supportive Facebook/Instagram Groups

-Autoimmune Disease Memes

•Positively Rhuematoid

•Chronic Illness Memes

•POTS Memes and Salty Dreams

•Chronic Illness Humor

•SpoonieSaga

Humorous Chronic Illness Influencers

•Jemma Bella

•Phil Hates Gluten

•Nicole Marie Pedra

Works Cited

Carlson, Linda E., et al. “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction in Relation to Quality of Life, Mood, Symptoms of Stress, and Immune Parameters in Breast and Prostate Cancer Outpatients.” Psycho-Oncology, vol. 23, no. 8, 2014, pp. 857–865, doi:10.1002/pon.3503, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/pon.3503.

Ghasemi, M., et al. “The Effect of Mobile-Based Training on the Quality of Work Life in Nurses.” Journal of Education and Health Promotion, vol. 6, 2017, p. 43, doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_98_16, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5446857/.

Ghasemi, S. A., et al. “Effectiveness of Positive Thinking Training Program on Increasing Life Satisfaction and Resilience of Older Adults: A Randomized Controlled Trial.” BMC Psychology, vol. 11, no. 1, 2023, p. 165, doi:10.1186/s40359-023-01214-0, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9977771/.

Hofmann, Stefan G., et al. “The Effect of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy on Anxiety and Depression in Patients with Chronic Illnesses: A Meta-Analysis.” Cognitive Therapy and Research, vol. 40, no. 6, 2016, pp. 701–717, doi:10.1007/s10608-016-9778-7, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10608-016-9778-7.

Karns, Chad M., et al. “The Cultivation of Pure Altruism via Gratitude: A Functional MRI Study of Change in Brain Function with Gratitude Practice.” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, vol. 9, 2015, article 675, doi:10.3389/fnhum.2015.00675, https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2015.00675/full.

Masoumian, A., et al. “The Effectiveness of Positive Thinking Training on the Level of Anxiety and Happiness in the Elderly: A Quasi-Experimental Study.” Journal of Education and Health Promotion, vol. 13, 2024, p. 110, doi:10.4103/jehp.jehp_1062_23, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10979770/.

Moskowitz, Judith T., et al. “A Positive Affect Intervention for People Experiencing Health-Related Stress: Development and Non-Randomized Pilot Test.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, vol. 86, no. 10, 2018, pp. 799–810, doi:10.1037/ccp0000332, https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fccp0000332.

Sharifinia, S., et al. “The Effect of Positive Thinking Training on Stress, Anxiety, Depression, and Quality of Life in Hemodialysis Patients.” BMC Psychology, vol. 9, no. 1, 2021, p. 105, doi:10.1186/s40359-021-00616-z, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8318152/.

Notes:

• The URLs provided link to the studies’ landing pages on their respective journal websites. Access to full texts may depend on subscriptions or open-access availability.

• For Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, the article is open access, so the full text is freely available at the provided link.

1. https://verybigbrain.com/psychology-thinking/9-mindfulness-techniques-that-can-rewire-your-brain-for-positivity/

2. Achor, Shawn. The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. Crown Business, 2010.