S2 E7 - Quality Sleep and Rest

Alysia Thomas: Go. Hey there friends. Welcome back to Autoimmune Adventures. We are so glad that you're here with us.  

So last week we talked about the importance of movement, and now, in true balance, we're going to be flipping the script and talking about rest. So, specifically quality sleep and getting the rest that your body needs. Learning to listen to your body when it says, "Hey, I need a break." So this is number five in our Big Six pillars of health.

Alysia Thomas: And whether you are struggling to fall asleep or tossing and turning all night long or just waking up feeling like you're not well rested, we have all been there. And I think it's pretty common for those of us suffering with chronic illness and autoimmune issues to feel that. So today we're going to dive into why sleep matters so much, especially when you are living with um the illnesses and the conditions that we're living with. And so we're going to share some of our favorite tips, some tricks, you know, real life strategies that we've used for creating a sleep friendly lifestyle. And personally, I'm excited. I love sleep. Sleep is probably my favorite hobby.  

 Stacy Griffin:  Honestly, I feel the same. And it's not just about liking sleep, it's about needing it. The connection between sleep and autoimmune health is huge. Sleep supports things like memory, emotional stability, your immune system's ability to function and heal. All of which we really need to keep in high maintenance as much as possible. It's when our bodies get to go into repair mode and handle the inflammation. Um, it's when we build our tissues. We produce proteins that help us recover from everything that we've been put through during any given day. And let me just say on days when I haven't slept well, the brain fog is so real. It's so bad. I've had entire conversations where I couldn't remember the topic halfway through, even though I've been talking about it for 10 or 15 minutes with someone and then my brain just derails and I can't remember what we were talking about or even why. So yeah, sleep isn't just nice, it's kind of essential.

Becky Miller:  True. The hard part though, when we are autoimmune warriors is that often our diseases make sleep more difficult. pain, anxiety, and that wonderful weird we're wired, but we're not, but we're still tired feeling. So, like you you feel exhausted and you want to sleep, but somehow your brain is still going 100 miles an hour. Alysia and I were just talking about this a minute ago, um before we started. That, that's honestly one of my biggest reasons for loss of sleep is that I can feel exhausted and I, just like it's hard to turn your brain off sometimes...um, these can all turn into a bedtime battleground, as it were, and it be can become a vicious cycle of getting poor sleep that then ramps up your symptoms and then unfortunately those symptoms of autoimmune disease again can cause the pain, the anxiety, all the things that make it harder to sleep the next night. So, we have to find ways to break the cycle so that we can feel better on a day-to-day basis.

Alysia Thomas:  Yes, I know that. I've dealt with that myself, especially waking up in pain. So, it's it's hard enough to sleep through the night and and wake up feeling well rested and and starting your day, but then when you wake up with pain and stiffness, and you're just sore, it's it's really hard to get going during the day.  

My doctor um suggested a muscle relaxant for me and that changed a lot. That changed that was super super helpful. Um it's not a fix-all for everything, and it's definitely not for everybody. I have fibromyalgia and that, um, is is like my main way to treat my fibromyalgia pain, and help me get good sleep. So it's important that you've got to talk to your doctor, and like some people just kind of think bad sleep is a thing and whatever. "Oh, I sleep bad." Whatever.

It's important, guys. It It affects so many things, especially if you have autoimmune conditions. So, talk to your doctor. Um, don't get hooked on crazy, you know, pills that are going to have a bad effect on you ultimately and they can ruin your gut health. Um, but consider talking to your doctor and also maybe some alternative therapies. And don't forget there are other options, non-medication options like acupuncture or physical therapy, um or even just a a nighttime meditation before you go to sleep. And those times, those things can sometimes help ease pain at night time and help you get a better rest.

Stacy Griffin:  And then there's restless leg syndrome, which can be painful. I know that when I get it, it is quite painful. And the constant urge to move your legs. Oh my word. Especially when you're trying to go to sleep and you almost are on the verge of sleep and then your leg twitches. It decides that you aren't going to go to sleep.

Some people find magnesium supplements can be helpful. Other benefit from stretching or gentle exercise right before bed. Stretch your legs out. Get the blood flow going through them really well. That will sometimes help. Um even something like a warm bath or shower. uh drinking some calming bedtime tea. All of these are great because they give your nervous system to go down, they get your nervous system to go down a notch and calm itself down a little bit and then you're usually able to get more sleep. I'm not going to promise you that any of these things will stop restless leg syndrome. when I have a bad bout of it, it is what it is, and I can't fix it, and I just have to get up and move around until it stops. So, and that's frustrating when you're exhausted laying in bed and you desperately want sleep more than anything else. But if you do the best you can to you know this is going to happen if you don't do certain things.  

So try and take your magnesium, try and stretch, maybe get yourself some tea and and then just, you know, cross your fingers and hope. We we wish that we could say it's a solve, a solution for all things and it solves everything, but sadly you just have to stack all of the things that will hopefully help to stop it. And then um try and have at least a sense of humor, even if it's a dark sense of humor on those nights where you're like, "Well, I guess I am going to be awake at 2:00 a.m."

Becky Miller:  Yes. And don't underestimate anxiety. For a lot of us, nighttime is really when anxiety likes to come and throw a party in our minds. Um, you're finally still and quiet, your brain starts scrolling through every word you've ever said. I mean, have any of us had that? I know for me, I also I'm a little bit of a storyteller. I like to write. I like to tell stories. And so, sometimes my anxiety becomes stories in my head about like worst case scenarios of whatever, you know, and I have to like talk myself down from that and be like, okay, it's 4:00 in the morning and this is really not going to happen, and we just need to get some sleep.  

So, we talked a little bit in episode two and about cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. I would recommend, if this is something you have a problem with - the anxiety at nightv- you might want to check that out. That can be a huge help here. We'll just say this, CBT therapy can be a gamecher. Um, journaling before bed can also help. Guided breathing, Alysia mentioned guided meditation. Um, sometimes if you're somebody who's a worrier about the next day, um, and this is one of the things I do sometimes, just writing down my to-do list for the next day.

Becky Miller:  And I'll be honest, I my husband kind of teases me because I am really awful about writing to-do lists that are really rather unreasonable for me as somebody with with, you know, autoimmune disease. But and I need to get better at that because obviously, you know, uh you want to make reasonable goals. But the point being that sometimes because I know that those things are going through my head whether or not I'm going to be able to accomplish them, just getting them written down with the idea of, hey, I may not be able to do these tomorrow, but I have it written down so I won't forget it because I forget a lot of things and then I can do it the next day or the day after that that I need to. So, sometimes just doing something to gather your thoughts can calm you calm a racing mind.

Alysia Thomas:  That is 100% true for me. I have to do the same thing. In fact, last night while I had insomnia, I was just type, type, typing in my phone all the things I was thinking about. And it did help actually. It did help me go to sleep. Sometimes you just need to take them out of your brain and put them somewhere else so that your brain will be like, "Okay, all the things are gone. Now it's time to sleep," you know? But yes, guided meditations really are my go-to. I love them. I love them. I am a big fan of The Honest Guys on YouTube. Um Oh, their voices are like melted butter. They're so calming. I will put, I have a, um sleep mask with Bluetooth headphones in it and I will put my sleep mask on on the nights where I'm struggling to fall asleep, and I will put on a honest guy's um, guided meditation and I will just chill.  

And it doesn't work every time. I can't say it works every time. Sometimes I make it through that whole meditation and I'm like what's next? But most of the time, if nothing else, it calms my mind and quiets my mind. So, that is helpful. Um, totally off topic, but I wanted to bring up before I forget. Sleep apnea. I don't have it personally, but if you are somebody who um snores really loudly, if you wake up gasping or you feel like you're always tired no matter how much sleep you get or if your partner tells you that it sounds like you stop breathing or you know things like this, you need to go see your doctor. Sleep apnea is not just snoring. It can have serious health consequences if it is untreated, including messing with your heart. So, um, if that is something that could be a possibility, go get that taken care of.

Becky Miller:  Agreed. And one of the other things to keep in mind, something that happened to me that I was not aware of was sleep apnea, because I do have mild sleep apnea, but I had stabbing pains in my feet and legs at night. It felt like little electrical shocks or sometimes like people sticking, you know, somebody sticking pins and needles in my legs. And um I thought it was, you know, some kind of serious nerve damage. And so I went to a neurologist and my neurologist actually suggested a sleep study, and a CPAP was what he suggested, and it actually made a huge difference not just for my sleep - and I'm sure that it helps with my heart too because I also have some heart conditions - but the big thing is that my my muscle spasms, my nerve pain in my legs, it resolved most of it. And um, I'm sure that my husband loves it cuz like, it used to be bad enough I would honestly randomly kick him in my sleep. Not because, not because I wanted to, and not because whatever. Like I, I literally would have spasms and sharpshooting pains in my legs that I didn't have control over. And so, um, it's been great for me not to have the pain, and I'm sure it's been great for my husband to not get kicked in his sleep.  

 Stacy Griffin:  I bet that he feels that that is a plus. I am sure he does.

All right, let's talk about sleep routines for a minute. Our bodies love consistency and we don't live in a world that really lends itself to a consistent sleep time. So, we kind of have to override what the universe says is acceptable. Oh, but we want to go out late on Friday. Okay, maybe every now and then that's okay cuz you want to spend quality time with the people you care about, but generally it's best for your body uh, to have a normal sleep time and a normal routine to get you ready to go to sleep. So going to bed and waking up around the same time every day, even on the weekends, can really help regulate your circadian rhythm, and that improves a lot of things. It improves your ability to sleep well throughout the night. It can improve your medication effectiveness. And if you set a reminder for those days where maybe you wouldn't, you know, I mean, some days we don't need a reminder. We're ready to go to bed. But other days you might need a reminder. You might be in the middle of something. So if you set an alarm, just like setting a morning alarm that lets you know, hey, it's time to start winding down. It's almost time for me to rest. I need to start thinking about that. So that's something that works for me.

I have a pill that I take, and then I know that after that there's no more eating. There's no more doing anything crazy that will ramp my heart up or make me feel awake and give me that extra boost of energy that I get because I am a night owl. So, it is a problem for me if I want to have a regular sleep cycle. I have to really school myself in the evenings to make sure I'm getting in bed in a timely fashion so that I don't mess everything up and stay up until 2:00 in the morning and then completely ruin the next day.  

Because it's one thing to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep, and it's another thing entirely to just not go to bed.

Alysia Thomas:  Word! So true. So true.

Becky Miller:  It absolutely is. So, really, we also want to try and make our routine, our sleep routine, something that we actually look forward to. A calming warm bath, maybe with some candles. Find a good book to read that's not going to get you overly excited or freaked out. It's probably not the time to read your murder mystery. Try doing some gentle stretches or listening to some music that you love.

Becky Miller:  I am a huge fan of like movie soundtracks and uh and that's one of my favorite ones to go to sleep to, but I honestly will say it depends on what my brain is doing on any given day because sometimes I can relax to one and sometimes if my brain is going 100 miles an hour, I will replay every scene in that movie in my brain as I'm listening to the soundtrack. And when I'm at that point, I know maybe I need to be picking something else to be helping me go to sleep. So, change it up. Like there is you need to have some kind of routine. Like Stacy said, set an alarm or whatever. Have some kind of routine so you get in the habit of getting to bed at a good time. But sometimes if you know yourself and your brain and your body, you might need to change it up a little bit.  

There's a lot of good options. Um I would say just, you know, maybe skip those true crime podcasts or shows right before bed. Save those for the daylight hours. That might make sleeping a little bit easier.

Alysia Thomas:  Yeah, the whole purpose is to like help our nervous system calm down, right? And yeah, true crime podcast won't do that for me, but I do find that one thing that sometimes I need, I don't need this all the time, but sometimes um, my brain will not turn off if it's too quiet. And I don't understand this. I don't understand. But what I do know is on those nights, I will often find something really boring, like a super boring podcast that I'm not actually going to listen to, and I'll turn it down pretty quiet, but just loud enough that I can hear and understand, but I'm not listening. It's just almost like white noise in my ears. And I don't know why. It's maybe it's because it's my brain saying, "Oh, somebody's talking. That means you need to be quiet," you know, "...that means you're, that means you need to listen."

But I'm not really actively listening. I don't know. It works for me sometimes. I know a lot of people that fall asleep with the TV on, like they need the TV on. I'm glad I'm not I'm glad I'm not doing that. But, uh, you know, you you'll find what works for you. Find what works for you. Um, I will say that stretching is a lifesaver. I mean, we I think most people know hard workout before bed is probably not going to help you sleep better. Um, but stretching before bed can help you deal with arthritis, fibromyalgia. Um, you're just going to want to stick to something gentle, some gentle movement like Tai Chi, restorative yoga, or or just some deep breathing exercises. Those those help us, those help our mind and our body just kind of quiet. So those are helpful for me too.

Stacy Griffin: So, let's talk about our bedroom space and how we can keep it conducive for sleep. You have to keep your sleep space cool, quiet, and dark. That helps a lot. Eye masks are great. I can't sleep without earplugs. Some people need blackout curtains. They are small changes that make a big difference in whether or not you can have good sleep. White noise machines can help some people. Um or even a fan can drown out the background noise and help you drift off more easily. I have found that for me a fan is better than a white noise machine. I'm one of those weird people that when I listen to white noise, it either annoys me because my nervous system is so ramped up that I am it that it's like someone scratching fingers down a chalkboard for me. Um, and then if I listen to rain, it just makes me need to go to the bathroom.  

Stacy Griffin:  So, I can't find a white noise machine that will actually help me. So, I have learned that I do better if I put earplugs in that are really lightweight and then I can still hear the fan. But I have to it's it's about balancing it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is you need to make your room conducive to the best way you will handle being able to sleep. And that means you get to play around and figure that out because it might be earplugs. So, I have a friend who cannot sleep unless she has one earplug in and that's all. So, just make it work.

Becky Miller:  It's really whatever works for you and helps you. Um, we do need to remember though, a big one, especially in today's world, we can't forget screens. the blue light from phones and tablets. They, it messes with our melatonin levels and it's important. They recommend turning off screens an hour or two before you go to bed. Um, if you have to feel like you have to scroll to help go to sleep, use a blue light blocking glasses or apps like Twilight that help adjust your screen tone.  

Becky Miller: Um, and like Alysia said, there are some people that fall asleep to a TV. If, if you cannot do that, that's probably better for your melatonin levels as well. But we also understand that sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Um, I know for me personally, sometimes it's just a matter of self-control. Like I, I know that I don't need to be looking at my phone until the very last minute when I go to sleep, but I have kids and everything, so I can mentally tell myself I'm putting my phone, you know, off to the side for the night. Um, but if it beeps, I know me and I'm probably going to check it if I'm still awake. So, um, do what you've got to do for you. Um, and just keep the screens to a minimum if you want to sleep better. I guess what it comes down to.

Alysia Thomas:  Yeah, I have my phone set to just turn notifications off during hours when I should be sleeping and and I'm I don't pick my phone up once I'm asleep.  I don't pick that phone up again.

One of the things that I think is kind of interesting is um having a smartwatch or um a smart ring that kind of tracks your heart rate and your sleep patterns. I have recently started using one and it is very interesting to see, to look at and see um, the amount of light sleep, the amount of REM sleep and the amount of um deep sleep that I get during a night. And as I started making it a daily habit of looking at that every morning when I woke up, well, I'll be dang there's a pattern in how I feel that day if I didn't sleep well.  

Alysia Thomas:  You know what I mean? It's not really rocket science, but it is very interesting to track that and see if you have patterns. If there's certain if you keep waking up at a certain time during the night um between the hours of 1 and 4, that can indicate an adrenal problem and you should maybe see your doctor about that. There's a lot of things that you can learn from from watching your your sleep patterns and your sleep habits.

So, uh we cannot not talk about the bed itself, right? We have got to have a good mattress and a good pillow. They make a world of difference. And I know that mattresses are not cheap. A quality mattress is not cheap. But even if you don't have one and you don't have the ability to the the financial ability to get one, um, a good mattress topper makes all the difference. And they are much more affordable. Uh, invest invest in that. And then if you do get a new mattress and you find it's not working for you, I think all mattress companies have they have guarantees now. They have, you know, sleep on it for 60 days or 90 days and find what works for your body. Sometimes it might not be what works for your spouse's body and you might have to get a side-by-side bed situation. I, whatever figure it out because we spend so much of our life in the bed asleep and you've got to have a quality bed. It's just it it has to be essential. And same with a pillow. And everybody's is going to be different. You know, I can't sleep on soft beds. Some people they can only sleep on soft beds.

I also really love my weighted blanket. For me, it is a favorite. It just feels like a cozy little hug that helps um calm my body and sometimes my anxiety. Um I also like cooling sheets and um I like a hugging pillow. I call it my hugging pillow. Um, I know I probably have more pillows on the bed for my own personal use than most people do, but that's what it takes to get a good night's sleep, so I do it.

Stacy Griffin:  I agree. It's really important to have your bed uh, situation figured out with the pillows and the blankets and everything like that because you're not going to get good sleep any if you don't. Um, but we also need to think about what we consume, because if we're drinking right before we go to bed, if we're downing a Dr. Pepper or a Diet Coke right before we go to bed, it's going to interfere with our sleep. Caffeine can affect your body up to six hours after it's been consumed. So, if you down it with dinner, even that might cause you some problems. Um, and if that's the case, then you might want to try and counteract things with either a good herbal tea like chamomile, or you can make golden milk, which has turmeric and coconut milk in it. And those both soothe both your gut, but also your nervous system.

Stacy Griffin:  It calms your body down because of its anti-inflammatory properties. And they're soothing alternatives that will help you. And we will also drop a golden milk recipe in our notes for today because a lot of people don't know how to make it and it's pretty simple to make and it can really make a difference. Especially on those days when I wake up with restless leg problems, I will go and make golden milk and that will help me get to sleep.

Becky Miller:  Timing about a lot of things matters if you want to get good sleep. As far as eating goes, we should really try and not eat two to three hours before bedtime, which I know can be hard, especially on nights where you're hanging out with friends and it's kind of all about food and fun. But if you don't eat at least 2 to three hours before it you go to sleep, it helps you avoid heartburn. It can improve your sleep quality. If you really feel like you need a snack when you're getting close to bedtime, go for something small and light. Maybe a banana, maybe a few almonds. Um, something small and light that won't be a problem for you.

Alysia Thomas:  Um, speaking of of bananas, bananas and there are other foods like bananas, eggs, oatmeal, oat, um, like nuts that can actually boost melatonin. I didn't know that really. So, those are those are always great. It's always better to get um those nutrients and or um from food rather than a supplement if you can help it. I mean, I don't want to demonize melatonin as a supplement because every once in a while I have to use it and I just try not to do it often, but um trying to get those things from your diet is just a better way to get them in your system anyway.  

Alysia Thomas:  So, speaking of melatonin, that kind of makes me think of like our circadian rhythms. Exposure to light um during the daytime is is also really helpful. Morning light especially is going to help your body in its sleep wake cycle. It I have started doing this now that the weather's nice where I am. Um I get up in the morning. My husband got me in this habit and I absolutely love it. We get up, we come downstairs. I usually make myself a cup of tea and we sit on the front porch which faces east as the sun comes up and we just get bathed in the morning sunshine. I happen to be very light sensitive and so I'm always like squinting and like but it's so good. It's good for your soul. It's good for your body. It's good for your brain. It's good for your circadian rhythms. And it's good for for helping you sleep. So, it's not the same as indoor light. Get outside if at all possible. Get outside in the morning. Even 10 minutes can make a huge difference.

Stacy Griffin:  Something else that gets overlooked is naps. Everyone has this belief that because we're adults, we don't need naps. And I find that really sad because if you're in a flare and your body needs more rest, the easiest way to get it is to take a little nap. If your body's saying, "I'm done." Sometimes we shouldn't push through. Rest isn't something that makes you lazy. It's a necessity. So celebrate the good sleep that you do get and don't feel guilty about needing extra downtime.

Naps have actually been proven to increase the length of your life for up to five years. Five years! I don't know about anyone else, but I'm old enough now that I'd like to live 5 years longer than your average person. That would be nice for me. Um, I really think that it's highly underrated.

Stacy Griffin: And there are parts of the world where naps are just a given. You're going to go and when it's the hottest time of day and it's not enjoyable to be outside, you're going to have a siesta. And maybe you're not even sleeping during your siesta. Maybe you are sitting there with a nice cool drink and just enjoying the shade or kind of dozing in and out in your hammock or something like that. Rest doesn't have to be totally coma-ed on a bed, but we need to learn that rest is vitally important for us and that we need that downtime. It's it's what allows us to continue to operate in any kind of normal state at all.

Becky Miller: Amen to that. And I think we also need to stop glorifying society's mindset of, "I only slept two or three hours, and I was able to accomplish, you know, A, B, or C." I think that people get all, it's almost like comparing, you know. I remember with work and other things, everybody's like, "Oh, I only got three hours sleep tonight, but I'm doing this, this, and this." You know, and um sometimes people are just making conversation, but sometimes it's almost like we wear it like a badge of honor. Um, but that's really a recipe for burnout, guys. especially if you have chronic illness, you just have to recognize that your sleep needs are probably going to be more than the average person.

And so, you know, maybe just don't be afraid to say, "Hey, I'm sorry you only got three hours of sleep. I got eight hours of sleep last night. I got 10 hours of sleep." Whatever it is. Heck, if you needed 12 hours of sleep, you know, wear that as a badge of honor and and kind of change change the conversation, I guess.

Alysia Thomas:  I do wear a good night's sleep like a badge of honor. I totally do. And it's funny because every morning it's now a routine question between my husband and I, "How did you sleep?" Because he knows, well, he always asks me every morning. He knows that if I slept badly, it might be not just a more difficult day for me, but it might be a more difficult day for him.

So, yeah, don't compare your sleep needs to other people's sleep needs. Don't compare your sleep needs now to your sleep needs from when you were healthy, before your before you got your diagnosis or when you were younger. You are allowed to need more sleep. You are allowed to need to rest more. Your body is working hard. It is trying to heal. It is trying to take care of itself. Prioritizing sleep is an act of self-love. Don't forget that and tell yourself again. Prioritizing sleep is an act of self love.

Stacy Griffin:  Yes, it is exactly that. So, as we're starting to wrap up here, please remember that even small shifts in your sleep habits can lead to really big improvements in your overall well-being. You don't have to do it all at once. Start with one or two small changes and build from there. Like we always say, baby steps. Small steps will get you where you need to go a lot faster than taking a big step and then being stuck off the side of the road for, you know, a good two, three hours of your day. Little steps are okay. It's progress. It will get you where you need to go. Probably faster than if you do it the other way.

Becky Miller:  And don't forget, rest doesn't just mean sleep. Taking breaks during the day, doing quick meditations, or just sitting in stillness for a few minutes, reading, whatever it is, you need to do that a little more often. I promise your nervous system will thank you.

Alysia Thomas:  I don't think I ever paid attention to my nervous system until recently, honestly. But yeah, I, I get that. I get that. Like during the day sometimes I was just at a conference all weekend and it was fantastic. It was wonderful. But I had to just go sit in a room by myself, quiet and dark for a little while. no phone, no music, no TV, no people, just to regulate myself. Um, so take care of your nervous system because it's doing its best to take care of you.

If you find yourself dragging through the day and wide awake all night, it could be more than just sleep hygiene. It might be adrenal fatigue or other underlying issues. So, go talk to your doctor. Get the support you need to get a good night's sleep.  

Stacy Griffin:  Speaking of fatigue and the different kinds of fatigue that we can have, stress management is important for us. And in an upcoming episode, we're going to be discussing the importance of managing our stress and having a good support system to help with that. In the meantime, please visit us at autoimmuneadventures.com for resources, notes, and recipes.

And remember, you are worthy of joy. Your disease does not define your life. You do.

HELPFUL LINKS:

Recipe for Golden Milk: 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3lYFDxvufh/?igsh=MnlpejJkYzhveWxp